Create a Happy State of Mind

'Struggling to let go', what do I do?

"Not always easy to let go currently struggling to let go... this is some one i left more than a year ago in my mind i dont want her but my hart say something else and i cant seems to get over her... so desperate to get her out of my hart sometimes i think she did something to me ... She was my worse mistake ever."

Dear P.D.,

Here is my advice on the matter. First, you have to ask yourself, do I want to let go? Do I really want to let go? If your answer is yes, then you now need to figure out what is stopping you from doing so.

Think about it. Your past is just that, your past. The moment you decide to stop telling yourself the story and make the decision to love yourself, the old story will not matter so much.

Is the pain worth it?

Letting go is not as difficult as we tell ourselves. Whether it is: an old flame, a bad experience, something we did, it is all in your past; and when it no longer serves you, you will let it go. Is the pain of holding on to whatever residual feelings you have worth your unhappiness? How is holding on to the past helping you in your current life? What exactly is your feeling towards what is now only a story? Could it be lack of forgiveness holding you back?

How to move forward?

In order to move on from the past, make a deal with yourself to love yourself no matter what.

Try these steps:

  1. Write a letter to the person even if from your point of view, she did you wrong (you do not have to give the letter to her, you can or you can burn it);

  2. Decide what you want now and figure out what will make you happy; and

  3. Look around you and see the opportunities that are before you. Start afresh, clean yourself up and date again. Try something new, travel, have new and exciting experiences -- in other words, live your life and be happy.

No one else is in charge of your happiness but you. Holding on to the past is sometimes an excuse we give ourselves because we fear moving forward. However, life is a journey of ups and downs. You are strong enough, gorgeous, bold, full of life, and have a whole lot to offer. You just have to believe in yourself and trust that the love you give will come back to you.

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