
Minding My Anxiety
My mind starts racing
My heart skips several beats
It's time again, the cupboards are empty
Every time I make it to the store and back
It's like my survival is back on track
But soon the time comes to do it again
And down the rabbit hole, I slowly descend

First, I must feel the bite of the hunger,
Then I reprimand myself to be stronger
Once it becomes too much to bear
I must convince myself not to fear
Of course, I first check to seek help from another
But the options are few, so most times I must bother
Once I have convinced myself, yes
That's the trigger, I must pass this test
I will need a day or two not to lose my mind
Public appearances require mental prep time
The night before there will be little rest
My mind erupts with such distress
I work until I am exhausted
Hopefully, as I get tired, sleep will come fast then
It works but not as well as I wish
This kind of sleep is very surface
I go to bed late and awake super early
Like a child on Christmas morning
Except, it's no joy, it's another story
My anxiety is in high gear
Anticipation is oh so near
I'm visiting my world today
Up close and personal
It's such a dilemma, but one I must face
And again survival is all I pray
As I watch myself be stronger than I thought
Facing the world and all its onslaught
I imagine the future, a day from today
When terror has passed and I am home again
Minding my anxiety can be a trip
But it saves me from the abyss
Copyright 2022
Coach Racquel
Anxiety is a real thing. I have a fear of people, which causes me to fear the outdoors (except in private spaces). I was always like this growing up as a child, but a terrifying experience in 2016 exaggerated these fears. Some persons have told me coldly, and matter-of-factly, to get up and go out, but it is not that simple for all of us. Have some compassion, but perhaps that is as difficult for you as my anxiety is for me. If you suffer from anxiety, take your time. Try to be around people who support you and show you empathy. Go as slow as you need to, take all the time you need. God is with you.